Finis | Roman Kraken Attack

[Jennifer Kail]

Make the Legion proud her shiny white ass. "Minotaur balls to that." She mumbled to herself as Cheyenne began shouting about Glory this and Rome that. If the gods wanted them to go walk all happy and smiling into a massacre then they could come down and tell her themselves. She would tell them where they could shove their orders right along with this imperial gold gladius they expected her to fight with. Jen didn't have all the cool powers of a lot of the other demigod soldiers. Her mom didn't give her fire breath or lightning bolt piss or whatever the hell those other kids used to get ahead in battle. What she did get was a quick wit, a little luck and the Mt. Olympus sized cahunas to try what others didn't dare.

"I'll be fucked like an unfaithful Vestal Virgin on prom night before I just line up for the slaughter. Blondie, you and yours keep that overstuffed sea penis distracted. I've got a plan." With that Jen marched off into the chaos of battle without a look back. She might get chewed out for it later but the very last fuck she had to give got used to get up this morning and she was ready to teach this thing a lesson.

[MONSTER! RAWR!]

Oh this was so much fun! So many demigods to knock over and possibly eat! This was going to be such a good time to feast on demigod flesh. But, of course, some of the demigods were being completely rude! One of them stabbed him with a pointy stick! And it hurt! He wailed and cried as he flung his tentacles around in the air. How dare they bring him so much pain! They were going to pay for it. With a mighty cry, he smacked his tentacles onto the ground as he pulled himself further onto land. They would pay and he would get a very tasty treat for himself.

[Jennifer Kail]

Mr. IwannabeCthulhuforHalloween was really starting to cramp Jen’s style. Of course she wasn’t exactly sure the monster was a guy but it certainly shared a lot of typical guy mannerisms what with the busting into camp, making a big commotion with its loud mouth breathing and causing all kinds of trouble with its floppy tentacle appendages. Jen was having none of it. She had tamed many a man in her time and if Octopus brains was anything like any of them she thought she had a plan.

Jen crossed the chaotic battlefield to the siege platforms heedless of the raging monster behind her. Sometimes it just took a crazy bitch to get things done and of bitches there were certainly few crazier than Jen. She headed straight for the first ballista she could see and when she saw a few scared demigod boys running around in a panic she took control. “You three stop fucking around like fauns with your asses on fire. Get that ballista ready to fire or I’m going to personally sacrifice each one of you to that thing like the virgins you all undoubtedly are. Mars almighty I’ll be doing your mothers all a favor by cleansing the gene pool.” As the legionnaires set to work Jen started on stage two of her plan. She was ending this one way or the other. “Hey Blondie!” She called out to the Praetor over the chaos. “Make those sad sacks you call soldiers useful for Mar’s sake and get this thing’s attention. I’ve got just the thing to fix it up real good.”

[Cheyenne Achilles]

The last thing that Cheyenne needed during a Kraken attack was for one of her legionnaires to go rogue. That only got people killed and that was the last thing that Cheyenne needed on her hands. Gods knew how many people would get hurt, but she didn't want to have any memorials for the lost. So when the girl took off towards the ballistas, Cheyenne almost barked at her to fall back in line, but she had so many others underneath her care. She couldn't let them down. But even if the girl was crazy, she was right. They had to distract the Kraken. If it knew about the ballistas, then there was a good chance it would take it and destroy it. That was something they weren't willing to lose.

So Cheyenne looked around as she barked at her legionnaires. "Everyone, to the left! Weapons up! Give it want it wants!" That seemed to be a good plan and it was working. While everyone was rushing to one side, the Kraken paid attention as it was wailing and flailing its tentacles at them. Thankfully, everyone was avoiding the attacks, but it was enough of a distraction to get the ballistas up so they can make their final move.

[Jennifer Kail]

“Well fuck me blind. Now we’re getting somewhere!” Jen shouted as she watched the legion get into position. The soldiers got organized and formed ranks and that was enough to get the kraken’s attention which was precisely what the daughter of Fortuna wanted. "You nutless monkeys got that ballista setup yet? Gods almighty I've seen more coordination out of a Bacchus frat boy after a weekend long bender."

Jen spun around to check on the ballista but it was indeed ready to be loaded. That was good as she had been working on a special payload and was ready to get it loaded right now. "Alright boys I've never done this before but I'll shave Pluto's rotten scrote before I miss the chance to fire this thing now. Let's get this aimed and give that giant octopussy something to remember." Greek fire was a nasty bit of business add a big old ballista bolt and a little luck and you had yourself a little incendiary rocket that was sure to give that kraken a wake up call. All that was left now was to get a shot off at a nice vulnerable spot and Jen thought she knew exactly the place.

"Good, good...a little more to the left." Jen said as she watched the battle unfold and the Kraken turn. "There! Alright boys let's pin him where the sun don't shine. Time to give this beastie the worst case of hemorrhoids in history." Looking down the sights Jen had a clear shot at Mr. Tentacles' back side. It was now or never. "Mars! This crispy critter is my sacrifice to you. Tonight we're eating fried calamari boys!"

With that Jen let her gladius fall in a strong chop that severed the rope holding the ballista bolt. The missile flew and as if guided by Jupiter himself it slammed home. Jen didn't know if it had hit precisely where she was aiming for but one thing was for sure, wherever it hit the kraken was going to get a nasty surprise.

[MONSTER! RAWR!]

There they were in one group. So easy for him to pick them off one by one. And they were trying to fight it. It was so cute. Too bad that they had to die. The Kraken was about to reach down and scoop up a couple of campers when it hit it. At first, it was just a stab and the Kraken shrieked as he waved his tentacles around, but there was something much to worse to it. It was burning. He tried to retreat the water, but it was no use. It would not extinguish the flames engulfing it. He didn't know what to do, but it was too late. His life flashed before his eyes as the flames consumed him and soon enough there was a Kraken corpse just floating in the ocean. After a couple of moments, there was a giant omega that appeared over its body to let the Romans know that they weren't alone. The Greeks sent the Kraken as a little present for them.