The Boogie Man (OPEN)
Jan 25, 2014 23:54:25 GMT -5
Post by Miranda Ansley on Jan 25, 2014 23:54:25 GMT -5
Aren't you afraid of the boogie man?
You should be...
Another night aimlessly wondering around camp; another night thinking she should be dead. It was scary, to think about your immediate death, no matter if you were a half-blood, or a mortal. No one got it either way, one scared to be killed by a monster a terrifying monster, and its not so different than what the mortals fear they'll die from, either an inhumanly cruel monster or a frightening monstrous thing. But really, thinking about death was not her subject of knowledge, that was not her parentage, yet fear of it was too controlling of her. How could the world have her here? How could a monster such as her father want to have a child? He and his brother brought fear and putting a kid throughout the same was unspeakable. But still there she was, another year, another scared day. Asking how Miranda was feeling, was like asking a rock; no response would come from her lips but an 'okay'. A meaningless word that only meant satisfactory with its events. Was Miranda feeling satisfactory with herself? Yes, one could say that. But was she feeling happy? Sad? Or even angry? No idea.
Feelings were something of a needless thing for her, why feel when you could just be okay all the time? Her powers were in control when she was okay, she was not pressured then and she wasn't in fear of them. She controlled them, not the other way around. She did not need anyone to ask her of her feelings, of herself or how she was doing. Stupid questions that possibly ended with the same answer: Okay.
It was one of the few times Miranda was let seen in public; this made her feel a bit anxious and scared, but this was always how she felt when being around people. But because of her emotions, she radiated fear, a fear so commonly known by every demigod in this camp that no one wanted to be surrounded by it. She walked somehow slowly as people would carry on without, or trying no to, notice her. She did not care, it did not bother her the lonesome days that were always with her, she was, as said before, okay. Some eyes did follow her, but it was nothing new. Her usual style would set everyone off, with her white dress that was two fingers above her knees, and the plain look to it, plain and also creepy. Since most dresses where too big for her, due to her lack of nutrition from being in the streets, hungry and eating little bits of garbage and then suddenly having enough food to eat every day at camp made her not want to. Two years alone without food made her tolerate the hunger, made her not want any food somedays at camp. The there was her black boots and leather jacket were a weird combination to the dress, it was a start, she was just getting to understand the use of personal style. It helped for people to know if to stay away or to approach. Though it was unknown for a girl like Miranda to wear makeup, she did, learning by her own and watching others her it was a normal routine, her black liquid eyeliner in a cat way above her brown eyes and red lipstick.
Why she wanted to go outside of her cabin still remained in the curiosity of the child she wished she would've been. She wanted to explore, being in camp for almost six years or so, she didn't leave her cabin until she learned the way to shut them off, which was suppressing them with her emotions which would set them off. But after some time perfecting it and not having some horrifying nightmares, she went outside. The darkness did not do anything to her eyes since the light of day could blind her from not seeing it all the time. And as she walked towards the unknown, she found a lake, black as ivory from no light to see it from. She sat near the edge, taking her boots off and slowly touching the water, knowing the temperature it could be was freezing since it was a windy night. As she played her toes with the water, she let her feet dangle in it, her whole feet now trying to get tempted. She closed her eyes, thinking of the many things that could go wrong then, drowning, freezing or just finally let her lack of food in her body take her to somewhere to where she could just be dangling without anything going through her mind. She shut her mind off, it wasn't so hard, the things she thought about were sometimes too depressing it made her have a mood that could go places. In her mind she could see a blank space of nothing, she saw herself lying on the floor looking up, her face wasn't the normal blank look but in it was a frightened look, she was seeing something but she could not see what it was. Her face turned to pain, she was not okay, she saw it, her eyes wanting to close but the pain never leaving, suddenly she wasn't herself anymore but the kid she had seen when she ran away, the kid that touched her when she was feeling scared, the kid that almost died because of her. She saw his hands wanting to tear his ears off, his nails burying into his skin as pale as hers. The screaming stopped, and she was not a spectator anymore but the boy. He was somewhere else, a building she did not recognize, spiders all over the place, from any kind you saw in books, not that Miranda has ever read a book of spiders. The spiders crawled all over her body, and as she screamed for help spiders got inside her throat, and then everything went black and quiet. She opened her eyes in panic, she was having another nightmare, sleeping in the lake was not the brightest idea, but when she tried to shut her mind off, nightmares sort of happened. It was almost like it was the price she had to pay for making her abilities not show themselves, and she despised it. Sometimes when having a nightmare she would scream along, as if it were real, only no one could wake her up form the nightmare, only if she was aware of it being just a dream, and she never could.
She looked down at her reflection, her look of pain was gone, but she could fear the fear aura surrounding her, it was better for her to leave, her unmoved feet were turning purple. Still, she did not want to leave, so she just moved her feet around, the purple suddenly being lighter and back to her pale color. She decided not to close her eyes, too dangerous now, she just had to calm down, the fear aura was still surrounding her, not so strong but enough to make people leave her and though it was good, it wasn't the nicest thing to feel. She was a grenade and no one knew, not even her when she was gonna explode.
