Owner of a Broken Heart | Open

[Ashley Bates]

Ash swore under his breath as he fumbled the pencil he was holding and it clattered to the floor rolling under his bed. His hands, those killing hands that were normally so strong and sure twitched as a fresh spasm of pain jolted down his arm. The pain originated from fingertips which were bloody and raw from over use and even though they were bandaged, admittedly not very well since he had to do them himself, the wrappings did little to prevent the fresh cuts and sores from causing difficulties for him.

He hadn’t really had a choice of course. He didn’t think he could go back to the infirmary, not yet at least considering the deeper wounds on his heart still hadn't healed, and he wasn’t very good at healing magic at the best of times which these certainly were not. He supposed he could go to one of his siblings but they still didn’t know about Dakota and now that this had happened there would be more explanations required than he was willing to give. That left him to do the job himself so he did and now he was suffering through the results of his imperfect job.

It had been a week, maybe two, he tried to forget about. The time since Dakota had left him in the lurch had slipped into a misty haze that had yet to depart completely. Ash still participated in the activities that were required of him, still did the things that he had to do like hunting and tracking to take his mind off the situation but he did them with none of his usual passion and fire. In many ways he had been living life much like a man in a daze and until now he hadn’t begun to come out of it.

Things had come to a head this morning on his most recent hunting excursion. While out in the woods his normally sure and agile feet and gotten tangled in a root because he wasn’t really watching where he was going. The resulting fall been the final straw and by the time that he got to his feet the emotions that he was normally so good at stamping down under the cold oppression of his practicality had come pouring out in a massive flood. In response he did the only thing he really knew how to do anymore. He shot his bow.

For once having a quiver with and endless supply of arrows had not been a good thing. Ash shot his bow until he couldn't shoot it any more. He had shot until the fingers on his right hand had bled and when they were raw and useless he repeated the process on his left. He didn't care. He needed to get it all out and the bow had been an effective way to do that. When it was over and he sat wounded and exhausted things had finally started to make sense. Yes hearts could break. He thought that it would be better if we died when they did but we don't and that meant he had to move on. Not from loving her, he didn't think he could do that, but with his life at least. He still had a life to live.

He couldn't do that though unless he had some closure on the matter. That night Dakota had left him he hadn't understood. Now he knew where his mistake was and at least needed to clear his part in the matter. It would take talking to Dakota though and that left the question of how he would get her attention. Writing her a note wasn't happening at the moment so he would have to figure out something else. He just wished he hadn't torn up his fingers so badly.

[Ali Chaelis]

Ali entered the eerily silent cabin, she had returned from an outing with a few of the huntress' to hear a the sounds of a pencil fall, clattering down it admittedly startled her some, to the point where she almost drew her own bow, though a few familiar grumbles made the usually erratic girl stop from unlatching her earring, she approached with caution worried as the ambiance ad felt quite tense, like she was walking into room filled with bear traps, laced with venom of black mamba and covered in barbs, only to notice her sibling in a state Ali had seen far too many times before. 

"Hey... Ash?" She said in a gentle tone, as she emerged from the shadows hoping not to startle her hunter of a brother. "Are.... Are you doing okay? Ya don't quite look yourself." She said as her cerulean eyes glanced to terribly treated wounds on her brothers palms. She knew Ash was the best hunter in the world, well in her eyes he was.. Healing, now that was Ali's best attribute at least that's what she thought. "Looks like ya over worked yourself there." She said motioning to his hands. "If ya want, your sister here is pretty good at healing... Though it's up to you really.." She soon paused, inviting herself to sit down. "Ash, Ash, Ash... Ya know, you may think you have all those emotions of yours locked up tight, but those eyes of your speak all that I need to hear."

"It's plain as day, it seems someone was able to get that stick outta your ass and maybe even, oh I wouldn't know... Got in to deep? Maybe even saw the bit of vulnerability in your heart? Maybe they made that vulnerability? Or maybe I'm just putting too much of myself into it? " Ali said looking to him. "But trust me Ash, I've been in your shoes... I know right? Me? It was when I was 'younger'... And no, not like that, as I don't look it my dear brother... I've been on this world for a good... 250-somethin' years.. Crazy huh? But back when I was well, before I knew I was a demigoddess... I had a crush, he worked for the circus my mum and I where apart of... He was my first love, I even gave him my first kiss and everything... He meant so much to me... But, then the harpies got to me.. I almost died.. And then I ran away from all my problems.. Leaving him and my mother a note.. I regret that day ever since, but... Worst of all... I kinda wished the harpies would have gotten me.. So, year on end I play this 'happy' game and it's not right path..." Ali chocked up a bit, whipping her eyes some. "But... Enough about your foolish sister... I want you to know, to not make the same mistakes I did, not run or hide them.. Confront them, show them you have nothing left to hide. Show them the brother I know."

[Ashley Bates]

Ash heard the sound of the door opening and suddenly knew he wasn’t alone. The fact that one of his siblings had come back to the cabin early could have been either a blessing or a curse depending on who it was. He trusted his siblings but many of them, especially the youngest would have been more trouble than they were worth. He didn’t have time to explain himself now, didn’t want to explain himself if had and didn’t have the patience for any of Lucas’ antics right now. This being the case he waited in tensed silence until he heard soft foot falls that he recognized as Ali’s

He glanced up at the door as she entered fully expecting his quirky, energetic sister to be her usual self. She would freak out that he had hurt himself, make a big deal about everything and cause a big fuss until she eventually decided he was okay. In other words not really what Ash needed right now. What he got however was much different and a very welcome surprise despite the excessive concern that was evident in her voice.

“Ali I’m fine…” He began preparing to close himself off and shut his sister out but that was as far as he got. As if she had x-ray vision she saw right through him from the very beginning. He didn’t know if she had been watching him for a while to come to her conclusion or if she just knew but whatever the case she hit the nail on the head and he didn’t know how. Was he really that transparent? Was he really that easy to see through? He didn’t believe it but Ali of all people had and now here they were with her sitting on his bed.

Ash listened to her impassively letting Ali talk because that seemed to be what she wanted to do. As he listened he thought it was the most profound and touching thing that he had ever heard her say. For once she dropped the foolish, silly pretense that she normally wore around herself like armor and opened up to him in a way that he hadn't expected. He had never seen this side of her before and to be honest he very much liked it.

She was right of course in some ways. Not the running from his emotions, he had never done that. In fact, that was precisely what had gotten him in this situation to begin with. She was right that he needed to confront this issue however which was exactly what he intended to do. His mistake wasn’t that he had fallen in love with Dakota. His mistake was that he had expected her to love him back which was why his heart hurt so much when she rejected him. That pain would probably always be there but he couldn’t hold Dakota’s feelings against her. She could no more change them than he could change his own. The issue was that they needed to get past this.

When Ali was finished Ash sighed. There was not much to say and Ash wasn’t very good with words anyways. Still, after a moment he was able to come up with a response. “Thank you Ali.” He said his voice sounding a little dry from lack of use. It was kind of odd to think about it but he suddenly realized he hadn’t really spoken to anyone since the incident with Dakota happened. “I don’t know how you see what you see but know that I do not intend to run from this.” He had a little of the fire in his eyes again. That fire was intense and a little scary at times but it was a little bit of his old self back again. “I do need help with my hands though. I don’t know how much you can do with them but I could at least use some proper bandaging I think.”

[Ali Chaelis]

"Oh, Ash.. It no problem.. I mean, I've been blessed by our father to heal.. It comes in hand when ya been a huntress as long as I have.." She said softly, tying back her mess of blond hair, as she began to do the healing process, she thought a bit, Ali was well.. She had been an enigma for most of her life, she had lived for so long that she no longer can see the world most do. She contemplating long and hard as she soon properly wrapped up Ash's palms. "All done, see? What I tell ya? Best healer maybe even on par with our nieces' and nephew's in Aesculapius cabin." She boasted lightly.

Though that soon faded as she giggled lightly, but soon covered her face as she couldn't expect all the emotions to flood out as the giggling soon turned into whimpers and light sobbing as Ali spoke in a mumbly tone. "Oh Ash.... Oh Ashley...." She glanced to him and soon kinda threw herself at her brother as she clang to him as she sobbed. "It's been 200 years since I opened up like that, always hiding from my feeling that constantly tear into me and down. I just don't ever want to see anyone go down the same road I did, to regret... This life is just too short, just too short... And seeing you so broken down, I just could imagine what my mum felt, what Oliver felt when I left... And now their gone.... Just like that 250 years flies by.." Briefly she sobbed into his corner. "But you Ash, you.... You have so much to live for, I've lived the same life for so long... I .. I ... Just want to thank you, thank you for putting up with me, I must be terrible to deal with... " She said, with a sniffle. "I know must be hurting, I know you must be a deep, stabbing, pain in your heart.. And look! Alena's beein' clingy again.... Stop the presses... But, I've just seen so much of the same for so long... I mean, so many faces I can't recall, all the battles and deaths... It just wears ya down, ya know? Well, I just... I'm sorry.." She soon whipped her eyes. "I just, I can see something in ya, I blame our father... Years of existence and the occasional visions can get a little... Well, cumbersome..." She took a deep breath, as she tried to put herself. "But, you've helped a lot today as well... You've gotten that all that... Well, I pent up for so long to feel, well lifted, sure it still hurts.. But you've helped me some and I just hoped I helped you the same way."

[Ashley Bates]

Ali had always been a good healer and Ash couldn’t against that point. She bandaged his hands much better than he had done himself and that did help the situation a little. He could only do so much by himself after all and Ali’s pair of uninjured hands helped more than anything. It would still probably take some time to for the raw skin to heal completely but at least he might be able to write something now and that was the whole point.

Still, he couldn’t help but think that his sister had gone out of her way in opening herself up like this. Ali had exposed a part of her past that she still hadn’t gotten over in her 250 years of life and in doing so had shown herself to still be very vulnerable in some ways. Ash felt sorry for her. Felt sorry that she had been forced to live so long struggling with the guilt of that decision. It must have seemed unbearable and yet here she was carrying the weight of her decision on with her through endless years.

Ash was a guy who tried to live his life without regrets. That didn’t mean that he lived a mistake free life just that he made choices and stood by them to the end. He didn’t want Dakota and their short lived relationship to be something that he regretted later and if Ali’s story had done anything it had strengthened his resolve in this matter. He didn’t regret saying what he said to her and now he knew why. Hopefully she did as well because if she was hurting at all like he was then he felt truly sorry for her.

“I’m glad you were finally able to open up about all of this. I’m not sure what I’ve done apart from listening to your story but I’m glad it was able to do some good for you.” He paused for a moment considering everything he had just been told and everything that had happened to him. It seemed there was a truth there and his mind worked away at it like a painter bringing out an image on a canvas until he finally had it. “It’s hard to let go isn’t it?” He asked almost absently. “Even when what you’re holding onto is full of thorns and it hurts you, it’s hard to let go. Maybe especially then. It’s the same for you and me both Ali. Love leaves scars.” He looked and Ali and sighed. She may have been right to blame their father for all this. His love for music and poetry must have been responsible for this odd romanticism that resided at the core of his being and yet it was a part of him nonetheless. “But we have to move on. We don’t have a choice really.”

[Ali Chaelis]

Ali sighed, brushing back her hair yet again as her sobbing made it even more of a wreak than prior. Gods, she was envious of those Aphrodite girls, they could cry all the time and still look flawless while Ali felt as hot a drowned sewer rat. "Oh Ash, I'm sorry I turned this around to be myself, I honestly didn't mean too.. It, well... Yeah your totally right love leaves scars and yeah... I guess I could have seen all that I felt all those years, I mean.. I spent 3 years out on my own fending off before Artemis found me and allowed me to join the vanguard." Ali sighed. "It's funny really, I mean... Come on Ash, with the whole cabin is around ya have me, the 'wild and wacky, no bounders, insane, borderline psycho that enjoys playin' games... It's easy to be that way, for a while ya just get used to wearing a mask, though... Every morning I have to dress up for said mask and really wearing it is hard, a heavy thing to wear.. And then I come in here and look at you, you my dear brother... Don't have that.. Ya just have everything open. Open and sure it has a nice little bow that someone could attempt to go for.. But see how that they don't shows so much more, that you are you, practical, strong, smart,  I kinda envy how little ya have to. Not saying ya don't have secrets in all. Everyone dose"

Ali soon paused. "But that's besides the point that my brother is amazin' and cool.. Your also often... Right. We do have to move on... We do have to keep going on or you'd just end up in the same rut like I've been for well 2 and a half centuries... Not fun in my opinion... But I guess, maybe for a little while I can wait awhile, as now I can feel once awhile... Maybe I can hold on? And just buy a little time for this wondering head of mine..." 

[Ashley Bates]

Ash didn’t mind that Ali had turned this situation around with her story. Obviously she had seen something in him that had affected her enough to open up to him and she needed to say what was on her mind. If Ash’s own experiences earlier today had been any indication then bottling up your feelings only lead to an eventually explosion. That being the case he thought it would be good for Ali to go ahead and get everything out. Maybe talking about it could provide some relief for her.

He couldn’t imagine what it was like to spend so long putting on a face for others. For someone as plainly practical as Ash was the thought of being anything other than himself was foreign to him and yet Ali always put on a happy face even when she struggled with the decisions of her past. He didn’t know how she was able to do it and supposed it spoke a great deal about her personal strength. He hoped that she could see that because those ghosts would not stopping haunting her just because they were out in the open.

“This is a badly broken world Ali.” He said finally. “It’s full of wars and cruelty and senseless tragedy. All of us are served our share of that unhappiness.” Ash frowned a little as he looked at her. He didn’t like the way she was talking. It was almost like she was ready to give up in a way and he wasn’t going to have any of that. “That doesn’t mean we have to let the unhappiness control us but it sounds like you’ve let the happiness be in control for too long.”

He supposed he had never really gotten to know Ali like he should. Her happy, goofy nature was something that he had always taken for granted but he couldn’t do that anymore. As it turned out there was more to Ali then met the eyes. His sister was hurting and needed help too. “That being said some days are treasure. It seems like there’s not as many of them in comparison but I think we all get a few. I think those days make it worth it.”