Come Here to Forget | Ash |

[Dakota King]

Guilt and disbelief. That's all Dakota could feel after her little outing with Ash. Complete guilt. She wanted to talk to one of her siblings about it, but they were usually too busy. Especially Mickey since he had more on his plate than she did. He had to deal with his father's death and his pregnant girlfriend and that was a lot more to deal with than Dakota charm speaking her way out of talking to Ash. She really couldn't believe that she was that desperate to get out of talking to him.

That's why she didn't bother any of her siblings with her problems and instead waited until she had the cabin all to herself. She knew where her siblings hide their booze. She pretended like she didn't, but she fully knew where it was. And that day was the only day she had ever had the thought of exploiting that knowledge. And she took advantage of it. She calculated how much she needed to make all of these feelings go away and she started. She had only had sip of wine at dinner back at the ranch, so this was her first time really drinking alcohol.

And it was horrible. Dakota just sat on the floor by one of her sibling's bed after a couple of drinks. Tears were rolling down her face and she wasn't keeping quiet about her sobs. But she kept drinking hoping that she would forget everything.

(tag: Ashley Bates )

[Ashley Bates]

Ash couldn't explain it. He could remember catching Dakota, remember kissing her and...remember getting back to his cabin after that night in the woods but he couldn't remember anything that happened in between. He didn't know what it was but it was almost as if several hours of his memory had been stolen from him. It was impossible of course. It couldn't happen without the aid of some powerful magic and yet no matter how hard he tried he couldn't remember the moments after the kiss or the walk home, two things that would have been very important to him if for no other reason than he wanted some answers.

He still wanted those answer, probably had even more questions now but the only person who could give them to him was Dakota. Like it or not she was the only other one there and she had to know. So realizing she was probably avoiding him again he did what his stubborn, persistent nature always told him to do and went to confront her himself whether she wanted to see him or not. He just wished he had some idea of what had happened. Surely it wasn't so bad that he blocked it from his memory but only Dakota knew for sure.

He arrived at the Aphrodite cabin but it didn't look like anyone was there. Still he approached hoping he might at least catch one of Dakota's siblings that could tell him where she was. When he got closer however he found that the cabin was apparently not empty after all. Despite everything else being still and quiet he thought he could hear someone crying inside. That he could hear them at all meant that a good amount of pretty serious tears were being shed and he thought he could recognize who was shedding them.

"Dakota..." He whispered under his breath and didn't bother knocking as he pushed his way into the cabin. If lady Aphrodite had a problem with it then she could take it up with him later. Right now there was only one thing that was important, to see what had Dakota so upset. "Dakota? It’s Ash. I’m coming back." He called into the cabin as he looked around trying to get a sense for where the sobs were coming from and like the good hunter he was once he got a good idea about his surroundings he began following the sound of her crying through the cabin.

The crying led him back to one of the rooms of the cabin. Not Dakota's surely but she was there nonetheless and by the look of things she was in pretty pitiful shape. He wasn’t sure what had caused it. He hoped it wasn’t him but she had definitely had a rough go of things. Crying, obviously a drunken mess and yet still beautiful despite of the situation. "Gods Dakota. Why are you in the floor drinking? What’s wrong?"

[Dakota King]

Dakota? It’s Ash. I’m coming back. Dakota froze in her spot with the bottle in her hands. Ash was here. The one person who had indirectly caused this. She couldn't let him see her like this. She looked down at her bottle and saw that there was enough to down before Ash found her in her brother's room. So she chugged it and immediately regretted it. Once it was gone, she coughed and sputtered a bit as she wiped away the tears from her eyes and cheeks. She straightened up and looked around the room trying to figure out where to hide the evidence. Her brother's room was messy anyway and she figured it wouldn't hurt to chuck the bottles underneath his bed. Once that was done, however, she heard Ash at the door.

She straightened up more as she took a deep breath. She slowly turned around to look at Ash as she steadied herself a bit. "Everything's fine," she lied as she squared her shoulders. "And I'm not drinking. I don't know why you think that."

[Ashley Bates]

Ash watched Dakota make an effort to hide her actions and admittedly when she turned around aside from a slight wobble she seemed to have done an admirable job but Ash wasn't fooled. Unfortunately her efforts did at least serve as a partial answer to one of his questions. What was wrong? Judging by her embarrassment it had to be something related to him. If only he could remember what had happened that night but so far he still had nothing to go on there. That being the case he would have to play this by ear.

One thing he couldn't handle however was lying. All he had ever been to Dakota was truthful and yet she still felt as if she needed to hide something from him. It was not a good feeling and Ash was having none of it especially when he may or may not have done something to bring it on. "Dakota." He said firmly as he gave her a stern look that was just as unyielding as he was. "If you want to deceive yourself into thinking you're okay that's one thing but to my knowledge I've done nothing to deserve the same treatment. Won't you tell me what's bothering you? Perhaps I can help."

[Dakota King]

Dakota hoped that Ash would believe her lie and just leave her be. All she wanted to do was cry and be even more drunk. Was that too much to ask for? In Ash's eyes, she guessed that was really too much to ask. She cringed a bit at the tone he was using which matched the look he was giving her. Why couldn't he go away? Why did he have to make everything so worse?

It must have been a combination of him and the alcohol in her system, but her eyes immediately welled up with tears as she choked back a sob. "I'm horrible, Ash," she blurted out as she finally let out a sob. "I don't know you like me... I'm horrible. Absolutely horrible. It'll probably be better for you if you didn't like me. You don't deserve me. I'm horrible."

[Ashley Bates]

He thought for a moment that even with his disapproval she was going to continue lying to him. If that was the case then maybe he truly had done something horrible to her during that period of lost memory. He didn't want to believe it but if something had happened he would never forgive himself. Fortunately he didn't have to worry about it long as Dakota let down her guard. Maybe it was the drink or maybe it was something else but it must have been pretty serious as the beautiful Aphrodite girl that he was so accustomed to seeing in control of herself burst into tears.

It wasn’t a pleasant sight and to see her in pain like this was like a dagger to his heart. He didn’t know why she was so focused on telling him how horrible she was but there really was only one thing he could do. Without saying a word he stepped to her and wrapped her in his arms. He doubted seriously that things were as bad as she thought they were and he knew that their relationship was complicated at the moment but she needed someone and he was willing to be that shoulder for her to cry on despite her protests. “I have seen many horrible things and many horrible people in my life Dakota but you are not one of them. Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

[Dakota King]

Dakota sat there crying like the drunken fool she was. Why did it have to come down to this? Why couldn't Ash get the hint and just leave her alone? She was horrible. Completely and absolutely horrible. Maybe he would get the hint and leave her alone. It was probably better for the two of them in the end. But instead of hearing footsteps leaving her cabin, she felt arms around her. Ash was hugging her and she should've protested and moved away, but instead she put her head on his shoulder as she sobbed into his shirt. She was a horrible person and he was being way too nice to her for all that she had done to him.

After a few moments, she pulled away from him and tried to untangle herself from his arms. "But you don't understand," she whined as she sniffed a bit. "I am horrible. I am the worst." She choked back a sob as she shook her head. "I used charm speak on you because I didn't want to talk about things and that was horrible because you acted like a robot..." She looked at Ash before she broke down into another set of tears and wailed, "I am horrible."

[Ashley Bates]

Ash held her for a few moments letting her cry into his shoulder but when she tried to free herself from his arms he let her go willingly. She wasn't cried out, not by a long shot by the look of things, but she had something to say and Ash thought that he wanted to hear it. Thought being the key word. He thought he was ready for anything, thought that he was somehow responsible for Dakota's pain but he wasn't quite ready for what she said next.

She used charm speak on him? She made him act like a robot? He hadn't even known she could do that and yet she had taken away his will, made him do...something, and for what? What did she accomplish by doing this? Unfortunately Ash couldn't remember and didn't know if he could understand. This was...well it was certainly unexpected. What did all this mean? How was he supposed to react to this news that she had controlled him somehow? Honestly it was a lot to take in and in an effort to do so Ash walked over and took a seat on the bed of whoever occupied this room.

There was something important here that he was missing, something more important than those missing hours of his memory and like a Hepheastus kid working to bring forth some fantastic metal out of an unprocessed ore Ash let his mind work at it. After a few moments he thought he had found it and looked up at her from his seat. "Why Dakota? Why would you do that? Despite what you believe you obviously feel bad about what you've done and that doesn't sound like the attitude of a horrible person but why would you charm speak me?"

[Dakota King]

The guilt was rising up inside of her, especially now that she finally admitted it to Ash. Why did she have to be so desperate? And why did he have to push her to using it in the first place? But from what she could tell from the expression on his face, Ash didn't remember a single thing when the charm speak was taking control for that little bit. And that made things worse, way worse, especially since Ash was trying to process it all.

She let out another sob as the tears streamed down her face. "You're just being nice, but I am horrible," she cried out as she reached up to wipe away her tears. "I didn't want to talk to you because you wanted to talk about us or something and you weren't going to back off... so I used my powers just to get you to stop, but you turned into a robot and that was even worse... I don't know why you want to talk to me now..."

[Ashley Bates]

Her explanation really didn't help matters that much. She did all this because she didn't want to talk to him? Was the possibility of falling in love with him, of letting go of her fears and trusting her heart really so foreign to her that she was willing to use her godly powers to get away from confronting it? Apparently so but if that was the case he was afraid she would be sorely disappointed. One thing that he had gotten from his father was his concept of fate and if fate really was intent on pushing them towards one another eventually they would have to confront this one way or the other.

"Dakota if you had wanted me to stop all you had to do was ask. If you had wanted me to leave I would have. You didn't have to resort to this, didn't have to..." He stopped short his calm demeanor cracking for just a moment as he ran a hand through his hair and then continued with that blunt and simple sincerity that he had. "Dakota I wouldn't hurt you for the world." And yet here they were. Ash thought that he had done everything in his power to respect her wishes and yet she would not even stop to see how much he cared about her.

"Come sit by me." He asked calmly and nodded to the place beside him on the bed. "You are not horrible. You are scared and confused and more importantly you regret what you've done but horrible you are not." That last part was definitely true because even now he couldn't be mad her for long. Was he frustrated at the situation? Yes. Did he understand why she was doing all this? No. Every time he thought about what she had done to him however he saw her as she was now and knew that she hadn't done it to hurt him. "I wish you could see that instead of trying to drink the memory away."

[Dakota King]

Dakota had to laugh. It was funny that Ash thought this situation was so black and white, while Dakota just saw shades of grey. And those shades were what scared her the most. "It's not that easy, Ash. It really is not," she muttered as she looked up at him from the floor. He looked torn over this as much as she felt guilty. How was this supposed to work out once they got past this? Dakota didn't know, but she finally decided to join Ash up on the bed when Ash asked. But she didn't trust herself. She slipped the last time she was this close to him and she didn't know if she would slip again. That's what got her into this mess in the first place and here she was tempting herself again.

But she got up on the bed and sat next to him, but made sure there was a little bit of space in between them. "I'm still horrible..." she muttered as she wiped away the dried tears on her cheeks. She sat there silently for a few moments before she turned to look at Ash. "I've never been in love, like, ever," she blurted out as she sniffed a bit. "And I didn't want to be for the longest time. And now... I'm not so sure..." she muttered as she looked down at her hands.

[Ashley Bates]

One of the benefits of seeing things in black and white was that Ash cut away all the unnecessary and got straight to the point. No matter how much Dakota wanted to avoid that Ash thought it was what they needed right now. Here they were, two individuals who were hurting themselves and each other and for what? Why were they so content to make this harder than it was? To add more layers to something that could be so simple?

The ironic thing was that it really didn't matter. The how, the why, even that was complicating the situation unnecessarily. Was Ash wrong about Dakota's feelings for him? Possibly. If they were just honest about the situation though it wouldn't be as hard as Dakota was making it out to be. Still, there wasn't much Ash could do about any of that.

Dakota came over to sit by him albeit at a safe distance. Perhaps that was for the best. She was still struggling with what she had done and it sounded like she was making a little progress but she still wasn't giving thought his statement about why she was so upset. It wasn't worth pushing her on it but there was more truth in that than he thought Dakota was giving it. Instead he turned his thoughts to what she said next.

"I would never try and push you towards something you're not. Perhaps we aren't meant to be together. I think I can live with that. I'm trying to anyway. What I can't live with though is you beating yourself up and drinking yourself to unconsciousness because you think you've done this unforgivable thing. We all do some pretty stupid things Dakota and don't get me wrong, I don't really know how to take the fact that you thought you had to use your powers on me, but that doesn't mean that you get a free pass to tell me what I know and feel. You aren't a horrible person, I don't think you want to be and you are going to have to work a lot harder than you think to prove me wrong."

[Dakota King]

Dakota sat there looking at her hands as she felt the tears welling up in her eyes. He just wouldn't get it. She was horrible and probably the worst person he had ever come across. She used her powers on him because she was desperate. What's to keep her from doing it in the future besides all this guilt that was consuming her?

She picked her head up and looked at him as he talked. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "But it is unforgivable," she emphasized as the tears streaked down her face. "How do you want to be with someone who does that to you? And the fact that you supposedly love them as well?" She sighed as she glanced off to the side. "I don't know Ash... that does't... that doesn't sound right..." She pressed her lips together as she looked down at her hands. "I never wanted to be in love because it was too distracting," she muttered to herself, but loud enough that Ash could still hear her. "But I don't know... I don't know anymore... everything is too confusing..."

[Ashley Bates]

“That’s just it though.” He said finally latching on to something that he hoped would make sense to her. “I’m not asking you to have everything figured out Dakota. All I’m asking is that you stop trying to blame me for the pain you feel when it is obvious you are trying to do everything you can to push me away from you.” Ash was through playing games with both of their hearts. He never doubted himself and still didn’t about Dakota but it was time to take the gloves off and confront the issue that had been standing between them whether Dakota liked it or not.

“Do you want to know how to get passed something like this? I care. I care for you Dakota. Not because I want to be with you, not because I want to make you commit to something you aren't even sure you want and not because there are still some nights that the thought of your touch and your kiss keeps me awake. I can do it because I care for you and want what’s best for you and this…” He paused long enough to indicate her current drunken state. “...obviously does not fall into that category.”

Ash sighed and rubbed his temples. Dakota was the most damnably confusing girl that he had ever known and the absolute worst part was that he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that if she leaned forward and kissed him right now he would let her. More than that he was kiss her back because it was what they both wanted. He knew that. She just wouldn’t see. Finally in that soft, maddeningly reasonable voice that he had Ash said. “Stop fighting it Dakota. Don’t you want to stop fighting it?”

[Dakota King]

Was she trying to blame Ash for everything? Was she purposely trying to push him away? She really didn't think she was, but Ash thought otherwise. Was she trying to put the blame on him so she could feel better about herself? Then she was doing a poor job of it in the first place. She couldn't stand to look at his face as she looked down at her hands and remained quiet. She really didn't know what to say to him. Whatever she did say, he didn't get and it was quite obvious that he still had strong feelings for her. Her touch and kisses kept him up at night? That made the guilt in her even worse.

She sniffed a bit as she kept looking down at her hands. It seemed to be the safest option at the moment, but when he started talking about her fighting it, she paused. Was she really fighting her feelings? She had to be since she was currently drunk in her sibling's room with the boy she was trying to drink to forget. But did she want to stop fighting it? She wanted to, but something was holding her back. She looked up from her hands to Ash as she blinked a bit trying to hold off another wave of tears. "But what if I'm scared?" she whispered to him.